Normally I'm quite focused. And when so, struggle to speak and I need to really concentrate to find at least one word for what I want to say, usually I invent things or pick a bad one although I do not have a bad word ability. I have made about two longer speeches in my life, at weddings where someone close to me got married and I wanted to send the best of me, in words, in those speeches, to make them laugh and enjoy this special moment. In both these moments, before the event, I was not able to think clearly. My mind was a mess, and I did really not think logically at all. More a lot of associations and emotions. I was not sitting down and went from A -> B -> C. No it was more vision after vision in no real order at all. Some ideas popped up that needed some investigation, like confirming a passage in a book that I mostly forgot but where I knew a spot which could be used. Before the wedding I wrote down just a very crude line to stick to, never looked at it actually. And then it was my time to give my love to them,

It was a fantastic moment for me, and I hope for them as well, as, magically, I did not have any problem at all to speak and find word. I suddenly had full access to my memory and intellect. I added stuff that other speakers had taken up, molded it and let it melt in the speech naturally. Used artistic pauses intuitively. I heard the audience laugh and enjoy the words. A speech that was logical and not whimsical, creative and not dull, connected and not spread out, artistic and not boring. And a nice little punch line that seamed to work and connected the loose ends I intentionally had left in the speech. Anyhow people said to me afterwords that they liked the speech and the feedback made my heart beat an extra beat of joy as my goal, to spread love joy and warmth to people that really means a lot to me, was successful. After this I got a lot more respect for people that are less logical, more whimsical and full of creativity.