Emotional

I am following an interesting series of history classes made public from Yale by Timothy Snyder and associates. The series is reaching the end and after watching the latest I am very emotional, thinking about my own history that actually is more mysterious than I grown up with. Something not uncommon in the world due to the horrible 2000th century. I have never met my mothers real father and neither has my mother. We know very little about this history and I shall only shortly summarize my known heritage on that this arm was founded be angels. Some of the most good heartened humans that walked the earth and who I proudly think about from time to time. We are not talking about historical persons, just normal people that cared for others. It doesn't have to be anything grandiose, just being adults and good heartened although destiny was not kind. This is also a story about a child who was the only child and did not know that she had a half sister that secretly in the web of the history lived in another part of Sweden. It's just with the persistence of my step father, that mother looked up the public registry and found out about this old story, which is, in most part forgotten now.

My heritage also involves people like my father, step father, my step mother, my step grandpa, my step siblings, that is not always woven by blood, but by love, by the common history that now has a mark in our memory. Some part of me, is however buried in the European ground, it seams, and the memory appear to be lost. There are roots from Germany, a region, if you look into the records, but then the story stops.

I can sometimes think about a story my mom told me about when she was reading for the class, that she sometimes would read the text backwards and produce gibberish, maybe it was a glitch and a window to our common history that now longer exists and indicates that the ashes of my forefathers and fore mothers is spread out underneath one or more of the death camps in Europe or it is another story or just a random glitch.

Timothy lectures history, the history I know, and the history that is new to me. It shows that families disappearing from the face of earth is a theme and not the exception of the last century in Europe, at least the first half. Maybe there was a willingness among the people founding this arm, to reset the history, and try to do something better than the past, and become another angel walking the earth. So with this tribute I salute my grandpa, grandma and step grandpa who knew to do better than all the great lunatics that roam and roamed our earth.

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